The 20 Things You Need To Stop Doing To Yourself

I do not own the following post.
I just find this inspiring and thus serve as a personal reminder, especially when a year is coming to an end.
Credit of this post is as below. :D

We are our own greatest enemy. We doubt ourselves, complicate our lives, cloud our minds with unimportant thoughts and negativity, we punish ourselves, hate ourselves and then feel sorry for ourselves because “outside forces” are making our lives a living hell.

Life is beautiful — you’re making yours a living hell all on your own. Each of us does things from time to time that make living happily more difficult than it needs to be.
Surely some of us have it difficult because those are the cards that we’re dealt, but most of us — especially those who are better off financially and don’t live on the streets — make our very own lives more difficult for ourselves. But there are things you can do to stop the miserable cycle that you have found yourself in — a cycle that I know all too well. Here’s 20 of them:

1. Stop Running From Your Problems and Procrastinating.
Problems don’t go away on their own. You can either make them go away or live with them. If you know you can’t live with them, then don’t procrastinate because the weight of them on your mind only increases over time. If you have a problem, then accept that you have a problem and face it — deal with it. Life is a long list of problems that must be overcome. The faster and better you overcome them, the better and happier your life will be.

2. Stop Lying To Yourself.
People will lie to you left and right throughout your life; don’t add to the pile of lies. It is one thing for others to be lying to you and an entirely different issue if you’re lying to yourself. You are the only person that you can trust…but if you have a habit of lying to yourself, then you can’t even trust yourself. You have to be able to rely on yourself and on what you believe.
If you know something to be false, then stop convincing yourself that it is or could possibly be true. Improbable is one thing, but impossible is another. Feeding yourself lies or half-truths will lead to the forming of a reality that doesn’t actually exist past the confines of your psyche.

3. Stop Living In The Past.
Yesterday was yesterday — it’s gone and will never again be. Everyone carries emotional baggage with them. Some of us carry the weight of a depressing past while others live in those happy long-gone moments that we consider to have been the best of our lives. You can reminisce if you’d like as long as you don’t forget that your reality exists only in the present.
It can be a dangerous thing to dwell on the past. Nostalgia can overcome us and make us feel that the world we are living in today falls short of the happiness we experienced in the past. Other times we will punish ourselves for mistakes that we have done and dwell in the negativity and bad feelings that we had. Whatever the case, be wary of focusing on past events and do your best to live in the moment.

4. Stop Attempting To Buy Happiness.
I’ve tried; it doesn’t work. You can buy drinks, buy drugs, buy sex, buy trips, buy experiences, buy toys and clothes…none of it will make you happy — at least not past the day that you buy them. I always revert to Paulo Coelho on this matter: happiness must be something attainable by each and every person no matter what his or her circumstance. If the poorest of the poor can be happy, then happiness cannot lie in the material.

5. Stop Relying On Others.
People have their own lives filled with their own headaches, own problems, own mishaps and own successes. Friendship is great, but often doesn’t weather the storm. Be self-reliant. Be independent. We all find ourselves alone at several points throughout our lives. If you find yourself on your lonesome and don’t know how to deal with it because you are used to having constant support, then you will drown.

6. Stop Fearing Failure.
Failure is such a derogatory term… I don’t understand why. Failing is learning in the real world. There is only so much that you can read up about the way the world works, but true knowledge comes from experience. And no one gets it right the first time around. You failed. Great. Try it again. And again. And again. The more times you get it wrong, the more ways you know NOT to do it.

7. Stop Doing The Same Thing Over And Over, Expecting Different Results.
At the same time, don’t keep making the same mistakes and expecting different results. If you tried something one way and it didn’t work, then guess what will happen when you try again exactly in the same manner? Failure is only good if you learn from it. Otherwise it really is just failure.

8. Stop Rejecting Prospective Partners Because Of Your Past Sh*tty Relationships.
You fell in love and had your heart broken; we all have. Luckily for you, now that you have experienced the pain of a broken heart, you have fully experienced the love cycle and can grow as an individual. Relationships, like the rest of life, are learning experiences. Don’t generalize and make yourself believe that all relationships end in heartache because that doesn’t have to be the case. Ultimately, you and your partner decide whether or not the relationship will work. Check your baggage at the door.

9. Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself.
Life is tough for everyone. The richest of the rich have problems. The poorest of the poor have problems. We make problems for ourselves — they don’t exist outside of us. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and start interacting with the world around you.

10. Stop Trying To Change Others.
People don’t want to be changed and most often can’t be changed. You must learn to accept people for who they are. The less you focus on all the things you find wrong about an individual, the more you can focus on how to deal with them and all their discrepancies. Don’t fix people; learn to deal with them and — I hate to say it — learn to manipulate them into doing what you want them to do; mind-f*ck them.

11. Stop Making Excuses.
I understand that the time isn’t right, the place isn’t right, and the stars have yet to align perfectly. The setting will never be perfect for anything. Perfect is not the alignment of outside forces; it’s making havoc the perfect opportunity. Stop making excuses and start making opportunities for yourself.

12. Stop Worrying.
Sh*t happens. Then it happens again. Then sh*t won’t happen for a day or two…and then it returns with a vengeance. The more responsibilities that you have the more you have to potentially worry about. The key is to not procrastinate and approach all problems logically. You only have so much time in a week to work on the things that need to be worked on. You can do so much with that time. As long as you do as much as you can do, there is nothing you should be worrying about. The only thing worth worrying about is your own laziness; everything else is out of your control. If you worry about things out of your control, then you are setting yourself up for a mental breakdown.

13. Stop Focusing On The Negative.
Negativity is overwhelming and contagious. It tints the way we look at the world and makes us believe that we are worse off than we actually are. Negativity and worry go hand in hand and can be the downfall of all that you have worked so hard for. Living in a world filled with your negative thoughts doesn’t leave any room for the positive. Focus on the negative and you will hate your life.

14. Stop Being Ungrateful.
Statistically speaking, if you are reading this then most people in the world have it worse off than you do. That may not be very comforting…but consider that most of these people are likely to be happier than you. Happiness does not lie in the material, but in the immaterial. Be grateful for what you do have — especially those that play important parts in your life. You could be worse off and may very well be worse off some time in the future. Enjoy whatever prosperity you have.

15. Stop Wasting Time.
You are only allotted a sliver of time to call your life. Use those minutes and hours to make the most of your life. Ever hear your elders complain about how fast time flies by? Listen. They’re speaking the truth.

16. Stop Overloading Your Schedule.
Doing more does not necessarily mean getting more done. It’s all about efficiency. Human beings require certain things in order to live tranquilly. Divvy up your time for all the things that you MUST do and then divvy the rest for the things that you WANT to do. Just make sure to be clear on what you need before you start going after what you want.

17. Stop Trying To Impress Others.
It’s not worth it. The only reason you should ever try to get on someone’s good side is if you need them for something — only in business. When it comes to more personal relationships you can’t do anything more than be yourself. If they don’t love you for who you are, then they will never truly love you.

18. Stop Wishing You Were Someone Else.
Make sure that you know who you are and do all you can to develop — not change. People don’t change, they develop and grow. You are a great individual because you are a human being. You have the potential to do anything you want. Figure out what it is that you want out of life and go after it. There is no need to change who you are to match some preexistent notion of who you should be. Of course, certain situations you may find yourself in will have certain rules of etiquette, which you will need to learn and adopt. However, who you know you are and who others perceive you to be does not have to be the same person.

19. Stop Overlooking The Simple Things In Life.
The simplest of things are the most beautiful of things. Take walks. Talk to strangers. Look up at the sky, the trees, the birds. Connect with nature and all that which comes at little to no price. We often do our best to reach for things that we believe will make us more in tune with reality — happier — only to find out that we were greatly mistaken. Life offers us simple beauties. Relish in them.

20. Stop Hating Yourself.
We are often too tough on ourselves. We hate ourselves for our failures and our inabilities — which makes no sense whatsoever. Failing is learning and inabilities can be turned into abilities with enough work and patience. Whatever you dislike about yourself can be changed… just be sure that it’s worth changing. My advice: learn to love yourself the way that you are. Changes are easier to make when you already have a good relationship with yourself.

Credits: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/the-20-things-you-need-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

Dialogue In The Dark

Dialogue In The Dark

Venue: Ngee Ann Polytechnic Block 5, Level 1
            535 Clementi Road Singapore 599489
Hotline: 6460 6222
Opening Hours: 0900-1700 on Weekdays
Duration: 1 hour
Tour Size: 8 people per tour
Cost: $20/adult; $12/student; $60/family combo (2 adults + 2 children)

I went for this amazing journey into a world without sight some time back with this group of lovelies. Here, we learnt to see in a whole new way, enriching yet fresh.

In those simulation rooms, we were placed in everyday situations, in complete darkness. Simple things like crossing the street, strolling in a park, or visiting a cafe suddenly became extraordinary challenges. Somehow, this idea to integrate people and educate society in an entertaining way, took us from fear to fun.

"In the dark, the sighted are suddenly bling, while the blind people who are used to moving without seeing become the sighted ones. This role swap makes us think about our prejudices and stereotypes."

Accompanied by a blind guide, we began our journey with a white cane given to help feel our way through the darkened room. I remembered how sweet my guide's voice was.

We first arrived at an open park by the water, it was really peaceful. Then, we board a boat and cruise till we reach the city. Moving through the city, we were forced to cross the street. I felt really helpless then, just moving aimlessly with no direction (we all kinda went different way!). We then came to a neighbouring market, where we tried to guess what vegetable and fruits we were holding on to. We even tried to make a phone call at a nearby public phone.
Finally, we arrived at a cafe, sweet-smeeling. We were hungry then. I ordered ice-cream and a cookie! We tried to feed each other with our food in the dark. I remembered LX exclaiming that Chrysan was feeding his neck. I managed to feed Zaki better! (hahaha). We had a chat with our blind guide there; she shared with us how they manage to differentiate those different notes (according to size and so on).


Here in the dark, we cannot see differences of race, class, and religion. Dialogue in the Dark aims to raise awareness and facilitate inclusion of marginalised people in our community.

If you are thinking of a place to head with your friends, and hope it would be a meaningful one, why don't you head down an experience this unique trip! Furthermore, this has certainly created many jobs for the blinds too! Show some support alright?

Days in CareCorner (Woodlands) - Mid Placement

Well, it's time to disclose that I have been a little busy with placement.
Yes, I'm having internship in Year 1. #lifeofasocialworker.

Being in the family of Care Corner (Woodlands), the most caring supervisor, and your best pals who are fighting with you, life could not have been better.

Personal growth is linked to my professional growth. This is my line of work. And I have been enjoying every bit of it. Albeit the tiredness in reflecting in almost every single aspects of your work, it's exactly how we grow.

He calls himself "The CHOSEN ONE".

When I first came in, I questioned the need for involving in so much planning.
When I first came in, I questioned the need for being a warrior who are involved in the "sai-kang" work.
Yet, they are all linked. The 3 Hs: HEAD (To THINK), HEART, (To FEEL), HAND (To DO). 3Hs is the very first few things that my supervisor taught me, after importance of self-care.

I'm so blessed to be greeted by Mr. Sunshine when he was getting ready to knock off today!

These are the food that I munched on that keep me company for my work.

I promise we have a fair bit of talent in arts, all 4 of us!

This is one interaction with a child which impacted me quite a fair bit.
Inflicting self-harm at the age of 2, I wonder what has happened back at home. Reminded not to jump to conclusion too early, I could not help it when her father started scolding her mother in front of us strangers.

There in the room, left the both of us.
She cried and cried, cried for her mum. Her parents were in another room for counselling.
I tried to pacify her, but failed.

So, I started to talk to wall, talk to the air, talk to myself. Slowly, she began to accept me.
She started to get my attention when I stop talking.
Finally, her little hand held on to mine. She listened to me. She waved me good bye, although with her head held down still.
It was good enough though. :')

My most caring partner.
Chrysan was so sensitive she noticed I was different the other day after youth-outreach in the community.
She was right.
I saw someone walking past me, someone I have not seen for more than 4 years? Yet he doesn't seem to recognise me. Perhaps I was too tired that day and my eyes were playing trick on me.

I was not too certain if it was that I was affected, or was it that fatigue hit me I became quitter than usual.

In any case, I am good now.
In fact I was good after a long-rest, recharged!

Look at how much pride we have, we decorated our desk so beautifully.
Even though it's just a 10 weeks stay.


A profession that one has to evaluate on a daily basis, that challenges and stretch one.
A profession that allows one to learn, from his or her client.
A profession that most importantly, allows one to learn more about himself or herself. Self-Awareness.


I think I will choose this profession over others, over and over again.
Even when, it means I might become increasingly aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings.
I'm so glad I came here, NUS FASS, to have a chance to be exposed to Social Work.




I have a lot more to share;
I went to Gardens by the Bay (Planned by Nelson),
Tomorrow is a Big Day - Happy Family Day
We had 2 Open Houses last week for Youth Drop-in Centre.

Maybe I will do another post when time permits, soon!

How do we prevent iron deficiency? Bloodbank Visit @ Woodlands

Finals Examinations have finally come to an end; and placement came straight after. For the better or otherwise, I will decide later.

I pay Bloodbank a visit last Sunday after Youth Group Tuition. They called me sometime last week as there was a shortage of blood for B+. Nickie had the intention to donate and so, we embarked our journey to Bloodbank. 

I was still a little nervous, maybe quite a big part of me are still scared about that thick needle. While, the standard procedure was to declare and signs all the forms before proceeding for check-up with the doctor. I had an iron-level as low as a 9. Yes, I was suffering from iron deficiency. The acceptable haemoglobin level for blood donors in Singapore is 12.5mg/dL. The haemoglobin level of blood is obtained through a finger prick that guide the suitability for donating blood. 

In case you are wondering what exactly is haemoglobin, it is basically a specialised protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the tissues and return carbon dioxide from tissues to the lungs. Haemoglobin consists of iron groups, which are essential for the manufacture of haemoglobin and thus, the transport of oxygen.

Now that we have a better understanding of the importance of Iron, so what are the reasons that lead to Iron Deficiency?

(The following list is not exhaustive; I'm writing to the best of my knowledge):

1. Increased physiological demand of the body for iron e.g. during pregnancy and breast feeding 
2. Loss of blood by haemorrhage 
3. Inadequate iron intake 
4. Malabsorption 
5. Menstrual Blood Loss

Apparently, I happen to fall under the 5th category and maybe a little of 3rd. 

Female loses between 0.5mg-1mg iron per day on average for the whole of the 28 days menstrual cycle. Therefore, to compensate for the loss, we women, need to consume twice the amount of male. 

I was having my period of the month and I happily went for blood donation, how smart. 

Nickie passed the test and went ahead with her donation. Then, she felt giddy. I was so worried for her then. She looked so pale, and was having cold sweat. 

Okay, basically the both of us have the most screwed biological clock ever during the Final Examinations period. We sleep in the day, and the hours barely add up to 4 hours. We have no idea if we were too stressed up or otherwise, we just couldn't sleep then. 

Yes, we are slowly adjusting now. I hope we will get better. :( 

Hell yes, we think too highly of ourselves. God did everything to deter us from donating that pack of blood because he knew that out body could not handle that. 

Wanted to loss weight too badly, and I guess this approach doesn't work out at all. Damn. 

TIME TO WORK TOWARDS A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. 

Consume food that supplies adequate nutrients - says the doctor. I should really stop skipping meals just because it sucks to chew with braces. 

Glipho! The future Blogging Site

I was so humbled and thrilled when I saw the following comment from Glipho!

For the benefits of those who have yet to hear about Glipho, it is basically a brand new networking/publishing platform.
I promise it is relatively user friendly. (Except that you press Shift+Enter to do a normal Enter; otherwise with just an Enter, it will automatically publish!)

One could simply import their Tumblr/Wordpress/Blogger posts. One could share through google+, Facebook and Twitter too. Come to think about it, it does work a little like Nuffnangx, which is more well-received in Asia (I supposed). It doesn't sync every of your blog/tumblr posts automiatically though. You have to import them each time. Every post has a tag like Wellbeing, Food etc. It may be troublesome to some but it ensures that other users can find relevant information easier. It can avoid spamming of tags like a MAPOTI. :)

A plus-point for Glipho is that it does not has all those types of irritating advertisements popping up everywhere while surfing the platform. And yes, I guess this idea will ultimately dominate Blogger overtime. Yes, Blogger. One could simply comment and give an article a heart (meaning thumbs up). It is like a combination of Google+ and Blogger all together. Furthermore, it has notification button at the bottom of the site, without a need to go back to the Home Page. Yes, one could simply enjoy an article and receiving updates at the same time!

One's post has to be a minimum of 150 words though. Apparently it is for quality control to avoid spam; yet I'm not too sure how will pictures-heavy users find that rule? Maybe with additional words one could contextualise their images better! Perhaps that was their intention?

They are a new blogging site and so give it a try! I have enjoyed my stay thus far and I hope you guys will like this new idea too. Give them a chance to make a name for themselves! (Okay, I'm not paid to say this. I promise they are good!)



In any case, thank you for inviting me to join this new community. It's an honour!

Crew in Action - happy day!

SSA1208: Everyday life of Chinese Singaporeans require us to do a film!
Xing Jun, Ariel and I chose Kwan Im Temple as our site and we do some visiting last week to conduct our interviews and so.

Okay, putting aside the nasty stuff like getting scolded for recording illegally (meh), it wasn't such a bad day after all.

Reason No. 1: A kind ladyboss treated me to dinner!
She's super adorable I swear.

Kwan Im Vegetarian Restaurant.
Location: 190 Waterloo Street 187965 
Contact Number: 63382394 
Operating Hours: 0830-2030 Daily 
Website: http://www.seahotel.com.sg/rest.htm 

Focus on Cantonese Cuisines

Dish: Udong (Black Pepper)
Although the serving was a little small, perhaps I was too hungry!, it tasted good!
Price: $6.50

With a range of desserts too. Looking good!
I will definitely pay them a visit again some time soon!

Reason No 2: 
WE VISITED NATIONAL LIB YAY.
It was my first time there, pathetic. Local tourist indeed.
And I was amazed how big the place is, and I love the smell of the books!
I had so much fun looking through microfilms for archives. #likeakid
I am thankful Xing Jun was with me. She knows so much more. Thank you for guiding me baby!

Reason No 3: Good Food, again! :D 
Yes, you got it right!
We visited Herbivore for dinner! :D

We were rather late though; and they were like chasing us off. :(

I know I have blogged about Herbivore ample times!
1. http://perkypecky.blogspot.sg/2012/12/herbivore-japanese-western-vegetarian.html
2. http://perkypecky.blogspot.sg/2013/02/happy-20th-birthday-d.html
Though their food is really pricy, I really like the food there <3 :D

YUMMY FOOD MAKES US HAPPY :D:D:D

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY :D

I officially turned 20 in this fabulous month of February!

I had my first celebration (and Ariel's) with Study Buddies.
Andrew, Ariel, Xing Jun and myself.

We went to Thai Express at JCube for dinner that night.
Andrew treated all of us to dinner. How sweet!
And Xing Jun gave the cutest reply, "It's not even my birthday!"

We headed to PIQUE NIQUE next. :)
Website: http://www.piquenique.com.sg

We couldn't decide which dessert to go for, we were so full.
Yet, all the cakes look so damn good!

We should meet up more often :D

My birthday falls on the 人日, 初七 this year.
It means everyone's birthday; how special!

I started my day with a simple lunch with a few AJCSB people at my daddy's stall.
It has been so long since we last meet up!

Boon Chang gave me a present and exclaimed, "Nah, I owe you last year de" LOL
I'm sorry I had to rush off that day, but I really appreciate you guys crawling out of your bed just to catch up for that short while.

We will meet up again soon when all return back to homeland alright?
Jiayou in Thaliand, Taiwan, Brunei etc.!

I went for 09/10 gathering after :)
Pretty Queenie :D

Cute Phyllis :)

Small Head Xiao Feng :)

Siao siao Sufancia :)

Trying to act tall Xin Hua :P

BFF Shaun :D

I was having a hard time trying to learn this card game (I don't even rmb what's the name of the game).
Sorry Shu Min >.<

Lou Hei! :D
And celebrated our birthdays - Chii Ming's and mine!
Thank you :D

KBOX soon! I promise I'll join! :D

De Shu's reunion dinner that night :D

Lou Hei again & Steamboat YAY.
Thanks for all the well wishes, be it that you rmb or were just following the crowd - HAHAHA
I will listen to the C.D. soon Jon!

On a side note, so many of our birthday fall on Feb.
Let's go celebrate soon :D

Favourite Soy Green Tea Latte

Jia Min's Hot Chocolate - looking good! Yummy! :D



Managed to meet up with Jia Min after so long, not for celebration, but I love that long talk.
It has been so long since we last catch up, and it seems we have endless to talk about!

We saw Lucas and Paul in Bucks too - hope they did well for their paper today!

And my dearest Jia Min managed to get a job as a dental assistant. How cool :D
Jiayou alright :D

Met up with gorgeous Eunice and Rong Her - like finale like that LOL.
We went Herbivore Restaurant for dinner that night.

I previously did a post on this restaurant: http://perkypecky.blogspot.sg/2012/12/herbivore-japanese-western-vegetarian.html
Since this post is meant to thank my dearests, I will not go into introducing the food and doing reviews alright!

I really love how the 3 of us could talk about the same thing over and over again, yet we still find so much joy in it! <3 :D



Rong Her's dinner

Mine!

And Eunice's!

Thank you all.
Thank you to all my dearests who texted me your well wishes. 
Thank you to all of you who wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook.
I'm sorry I didn't thank all the 102 of you individually, but I really do appreciate that. 

I know I'm blessed. I will learn to give more in return, like how much you guys shower me with love and care selflessly :')
I LOVE ALL OF YOU, MY FAMILY, RELATIVES, DEARESTS, and FRIENDS. 
Thank you for making me feel that I'm special and loved!

JJ 林俊傑 - 因你而在 You N Me (華納 official 官方完整音檔)

My 500th posts, so I will dedicate this post to someone I adore, a lot.



已过了十年。
那么漫长的岁月，你依旧那么的努力。

从一个很害羞，不是很有信心的小男生，到如今深受大家肯定的新四大天王，真是不简单。
新加坡有那么杰出的创作歌手，真是感到骄傲！
至今已模糊不清，不晓得在梦里梦到你几次 － 好花痴哦 >.<

你的努力大家都看的到。
为了爱你的人，欣赏你的歌迷朋友们继续加油。

我们因你的歌声而在。
当是是不顺心时，请切记，你还有永远支持你的歌迷们！

音乐才子，加油加油再加油！



*Wrote this as if he would read them. Oh God.
Please do support his, you know he's good :)

JJ Lin.

My favourite melody

JJ Lin has been my favourite artist ever since I learnt to appreciate Chinese Pop Music.


(This live performance during annual award ceremony hits a 2 million views; *proudofhim!*)
Yes, it is precisely him that I learnt to listen and love Chinese Melody.

Favourite singer is a very subjective topics.
I have seen how other fans tried to pull other stars down, but I'm pretty sure people like JJ would not want to see this.
They all have their own talents, and putting others down would not make your idol any stronger, or better.

I like JJ a lot, how he ends his note; his tone is just one of a kind, marvellous.
Like FIRST LOVE, JJ Lin's music is my first love.
I could remember humming to his melody in primary school days. :)
Nothing can replace your first love, right? It is like the most beautiful thing, like childhood memories.

Keep fighting JJ, still moving under gunfire. :)
Your music give many of us strength, so dont stop - it'll only give us one less reason to look forward to for life.
I can't wait for his 10th Album - 因你而在。
And if you are staying in Singapore on 6th Feb, remember to tune to 1003 at 10am :D
They will broadcast his lovely piece, can't wait.

The only predictable thing I guess is that it would be flawless. I promise, I won't go too far away from that, because he is JJ.

On a side note, I found this video - sang by A Lin.
This performance of hers give me chills.

It has been a long time since I have heard something so beautiful that touches my heart so deeply.
she sang them beautifully.
Or rather, beautiful is an understatement.



I could listen to them, the whole night. Again, and again.

MISSING PARTS OF MY LIFE PART 2

Okay, I realised some images were took all the way back then in 2010.
Yup, I'm deleting my old facebook account.
I will probably do another post on why I'm doing so; so mean while, enjoy these images! :D

p.s. : They all mean a lot to me!