Engaging in senseless thought in a lonely night

Bloody move on.
I turned around, and am still turning, too many times.
And yes, it's too tempting.
Now, I'm dreaming for the impossible.
Hopes dashed.
So much so to undo things; so much so to live up to expectations.

You have heard of it; we all did.
That, "nothing is too late".
But what do we meant by nothing?
It very much just is, the twisting the words; forcing to think and look from another.

We all know happiness is a choice.
Yet, sometimes we are just too tired suddenly.
Because to stay happy, we need to think of reasons. Reasons that make our day or anything, better.
And so, sometimes we felt as if we are lying ourselves.
Sometimes we felt that we are a coward who just can't face our own feelings.
So tell me, what is right?

What is right, and what is wrong?
What is then the truth, and what is then a lie?

Confused. Confused?
Can one really be confused with their own feelings?
Or is one just running away from facing their own feelings?

God, this post just makes no sense.
Pffttttt.

P.s. If you are looking at the moon right now, you can spot Jupiter - as the brightest star - below it :)
Credits to: Kenneth Leong

Love-Hate; which do you prefer?

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable, it opens your chest, it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses. you build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you. 

Then, one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you, they don't ask for it.
They do something dumb someday, like kiss you or smile at you and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostage. it gets inside of you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts, not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real getsinside you and rips you apart pain. I hate love.

Yet again, I was dying to be madly in love.
Admit that, we all hate loneliness. We all want to love and to be love.

Damn, how irony.

The arrival of doomsday 2012, still valid?

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't? Or saying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart ... If you don't, you might break theirs.
Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own ... When you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much ... for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid ... afraid of what wedon't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?

Just random thoughts.
I wonder how many of us still believe that the doomsday in 2012 will arrive.

I remember clearly I did alot of research and there were many documentary and all that support the arrival of this day. I was really paranoid. I mean, many of us were when we watch this movie back then, right?

Oh well, even without this doomsday, whatever might still happen too.
So, don't live with regrets.
Choose a path you really want to be, not of others expectations, not of a life that ruin you or going against your principles and values.

Only through love and friendship, can we create the illusion for the moment we are not alone

Dear friend, you asked me if i ever felt this moment when I don't feel like saying anything at all.

Yes, I did. I have ever get these times too. When I don't want to talk to anybody, don’t want to smile and don’t want to pretend to be happy. But at the same time I don’t know exactly what’s wrong either. There isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If I could want anything in the world, then it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. At least when I am alone no one will constantly ask me what is wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take ‘I don’t know’ for an answer. I felt the way you are right now, hoping the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again. Albeit until then, all you can do is wait.

It's okay to feel down at times. We all know there are full of ups and downs in life.
Maybe we do know the reason or reasons deep down, but we chose to run away from them.
Maybe we just don't want to inflict more pain on ourselves, maybe we just aren't brave enough to face whatever that is haunting us.
But to your second question, no. HELL NO.
I dont think you should feel that way at all. I guess you just want to be alone.
Nobody is pretending to care when they aren't deep down. They do my dear, they care genuinely for you. They are concerned about your well-being, they are concerned about your happiness!

I know that feeling will go away soon.
Maybe you are facing tremendous pressure right now and you just want to run away from it.
I'm just guessing. I mean, only you know the reason deep down.
And dear friend, you are an awesome person. I salute you for holding on to so many responsibilities even when you aren't oblige to.
Just remember, we only live this life once. Live it the way you want it to be, not the way others put their expectations on you.

You are in my prayer; I hope to see you throwing all these negativities away real soon.
Felt like giving you a hug now. :( *hugggggg
Please be okay.

Embrace life once again my dear!