Saturday, 14 July 2012

Wishing only kills

Boy, when I stumble across your news, I crushed.
I don't understand how you bear to hurt me this way. I don't understand how you can pretend nothing happened. I don't understand why can one be so selfish. I don't understand why I've to be a victim and be a rebound girl.

I woke up in the morning. Feeling lousy yet again. Because you were the first thing that cross my mind. It's not because I love you. But it's because I hate you. I hate how you make me despise myself. I hate how you destroy me. I hate how you make me not dare to trust again. I hate how you push all the blames to me.

Initially I thought it was my bad. Then I took a step back and realize, hey, it all doesn't make sense.
I remember all the hurtful and insensitive words you used on me. As if everything was planned. That you just wanted to 'play' me. I was warned. But I learned to trust. & so this is one get in return for trusting.

I'll get stronger. But each time when I'm reminded about you, i can only spell regret.
Regret for knowing you, for pitying you, you don't deserve it, but yet I thought you do.

You seriously suck. I could be someone so so much better. But you destroyed such a big part and now I have to live with it. I hope you'll live with guilt, but that will make me as horrible as you. & you wont either.

I'm done with ranting. It doesn't change a thing does it? I can only cross my finger and pray. That one day, you will stop trying to step into a relationship and do all those horrible things with your words and all and destroy innocent girls. Not everyone can take this. Really.

Because of your selfishness, so many have to suffer with you. Fuck you.

Okay, life moves on.

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