I wanted to do this for a long time; I decided to pen them down so I could sort out my thoughts better too.
1. Phobia towards Phone Calls
I don't really know when this have developed. Perhaps phobia is way too an extreme word to put this across, but since this is the no. 1 confession I have made here, I wanted it to sound impactful. Meh.
Yes, I do like to interact with people. I believe it is a good source to learn more about lives and to gain more insights.
Okay, I do want to be there for my friends. Yet at times, I can't help it but to think phone calls are a total waste of time. Most of the time phone calls I had have no content. For most of my long chats over the phone, we would end up talking about the same damn thing over and over again, and back to square one. Things didn't improve. Perhaps we were in a too comfortable environment like lying on our bed - hence ended up engaging in endless senseless talks.
And the very reason that I don't really enjoy long chats? I'm not a someone who can multi-task well. If you know me well enough, you should have realised I actually couldn't perform that at all. The same thing for phone calls. When I talked with someone on phone, I usually don't engage in any other activity. Yes, literally sat down with just the phone. It's not a bad thing, giving your fullest attention. Yet, this has contributed to many of my nights just burnt like that. Too tired the next day, undone assignments, scoldings from parents and the list goes on that make me dislike phone calls a lot. Not really the process if you understand where I'm coming from.
And at times, sudden phone calls just disrupt my momentum of doing wahtever I am doing.
I do love texting though. I can attend to my phone any time I want.
Touching on this, I guess I can make another confession? My phone is always on silent non-vibrating mode. That's the very reason why I have one thousand and one complaints that I don't even answer the calls during emergency. :(
2. Emotionally Unstable
Many times, I felt like I don't know myself at all. This is normal for this period of time by the way. I'm still in the midst of exploring my identity. Sometimes it's quite bad I couldn't even identify my own emotions. Yes, most of the time I smile and laugh like I'm happy with life. When I was alone though, I always end up indulging in unhealthy thoughts. And yes, I enjoy time being alone. I enjoy that a lot. It's a good time to sort out certain emotions. I love Bucks by the way! Like I have told my dearest Nickie, I couldn't let go of certain terrible things that happened. Some things just can't be erased, can't be undone. I'm not too sure how many of you can relate to this. That aside, I am thankful for life - and that leading to my next confession.
I cry a lot too. Guess AJCSB would know this. :/ Yes, I don't hold them back when I'm comfortable with the people.
3. I'm a big fan of mother nature
Okay, maybe this isn't something so unique no more. Who doesn't love mother nature right?
I would rather take a longer route home - purposely a stop after so I could enjoy that short walk at the park, so I could enjoy the beautiful sunset.
Yes, I love beach. Be it the sight in the day, or at night, it feels different every time I pay them a visit. I love the sound of the wave. I enjoy socking my feet at the shore. Yes, I do collect seashells.
The very reason I love roller blading is because I am closer to the beach when I roller blade.
4. I have always wanted to master piano.
I know these 2 instruments are the most popular, and many of you know how to play them well. It's different on my side. I'm a slow learner, a very slow one. Plus I'm not a well-off family. I don't have the privilege to learn piano or ballet when I was younger. I'm trying to save up now though so I could afford the lessons, soon.
On a side note, I have terrible rhythmic sense and I'm guessing I might be a little tone deaf. Meh.
And that's the very reason, I have a thing for guys who can play piano well. It's a plus plus plus point!!
5. I'm a dreamer.
I'm not just talking about those dreams one would have at night/nap. I'm talking about day-dreaming here. By the way, I think my dreams at night are ridiculously funny. Sometimes I would force myself back to sleep so I could have a conclusion for my dream. LOL. Don't judge me.
I'm bad at remembering people names' and faces. Random.
If you do notice me when I'm alone, most of the time I would either plug in ear piece and stare blankly into the space, or out of the window; or reading a book. I like to imagine myself in different scenarios, playing different characters. And I like to relate to song lyrics. Yes, like being the female lead. All the time. I like to imagine having this big stage like a superstar. My mummy always says one doesn't need to pay to dream. HAHA.
And maybe instead of saying I'm a dreamer, I'm someone who think a lot. I meant it when I say a lot.
6. I'm a judgemental person
As much as being a social worker, I still do judge. I know it's unethical to do so. This was never made known to me only until recently. Social Work modules really allow me to understand myself, discovering my own weaknesses and strengths. I never know I judge so much; from my BFF's reactions to things, to total stranger who is taking the same train. And so now I know that I always do so subconsciously, I have to keep them in check. :)
7. I talk to myself in the mirror
These are the little 7 things I wanna confess about myself today.
Okay, I realised it's more about things I have discovered about myself. Guess it didn't really conflict with the supposed agenda so oh well.
How well do you know about yourself?
Do you notice yourself doing certain things/habits?
Have you tried justifying these actions? Do they tell something about you?